Awenire ON 11/16/2012 AT 7:01 AM
"All part of the frightening concept called our future."
—Troy Bolton, High School Musical 2 

Yap! I fear future so bad. Maybe everybody who already knows me never see how much I fear my future. But, dude, this is my nightmare. Future.

Some people says I'll have a good future. Deep in my heart, I ask them, "Really? Do you know that I'm very pessimist about your words?" If only I can ask them what makes them saying that. I... I don't know! Each pessimistic word they say to me makes the future looks more frightening in my eyes.

Let me judge myself here. I'm a really lazy girl. Too lazy to do things that I have no mood to do. Although I still do my tasks wholeheartedly, I'm tired of my own tasks. It's like, the task rape me. I've cried a lot because of how much task I could get in one day. I hate this feeling! It's not only about how lazy I am, but also how tired I am.

And then, let's see my score. I'm the ones who very careless in this case. I get what I get. I have no time to talk to my teacher to boost my score. Besides, they'd be very tired handling my complain. So I just sit calmly, let everybody go, and do the negotiation.

But my score is inappropriate. I've fought everytime, but I loose. Well, I cheat sometimes. I'm not the pampered type who text all of her friend, asking the answer of 70% of the test. So what, at least I'm still trying to do it by myself. When I saw my physics score was very far away from expectation, I wanted to cry. I've done my best. It should be 90, if I checked manually by myself. And guess what? DUMBS GOT 90! Still, I wanted to cry until now. I wish living like this is only a dream.

For my future, I'll take social class (yes, I know. I hated social subject and my social subject's score is so... dumb), go to communication class in college, and work in a TV station (VOA if I can, amen). I'll be reading news in every TV, watched by millions, and that's my dream when I was a little girl. Or maybe, I'll act in a play. I really want to play a musical play. If I can, I'll play in American Idiot, act as Whatsername, amen.

But look at me now. Can I?

Scumbag Hime

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